Don't Do This To Yourself
by fangirl1005
Summary: Chucks in a bad place. And Blair has to help him. Can she snap him out of what he's doing, or is Mr Bass destined to a life on his own. Rated T because contains mentions of suicide and based around self harm.


One line. Two lines. Three lines. How many more would it take. He liked watching them. Watching the sketches he made on his skin grow. The lines were ugly but beautiful. Painful, but in a good way. It gave him power. By drawing on himself, he was in control. He did what he wanted and no one could stop him. Especially when the pen was a knife and the canvas was his skin. His favourite part to cut was his wrists. He hated himself for it but he couldn't help it. He loved the way the red contrasted with the white skin. The way his blood bled and creating a picture. The picture showed a failure, a man who was already dead. He was breathing, but the world was suffocating him. Most days he just wanted to end it all. All it took was one more line. Straight across the veins and he didn't have to hide anymore. He wouldn't feel anymore pain. He could be free. But then he thought of Blair. How would he cope not seeing her everyday. Even if he was an embarrassment and a failure, at least he got to see her beautiful, perfect face everyday. He had hurt her so many times. So instead of her, he hurt himself. The amount of alcohol and drugs that were in his system ensured that he didn't feel any pain. Only emptiness. He had gotten so used to cleaning up after his session with the knife that no one could tell anything had happened. Towel in the trash, knife in a locked cupboard, arms wrapped in bandages and covered by long sleeved shirts. He was used to this pattern. He did it most days.

Blair was on her way to see Chuck. She missed him. She let herself in with the spare key hidden under the mat.

"Chuck" she called out into the empty apartment.

"Chuck, where are you" she was about to leave when she saw a light glowing underneath the bathroom door.

"Hey Chuck, are you alright?"

No reply.

"Chuck? Hey answer me. I know you're here"

She decided to storm in. There was nothing that she hadn't seen before of him, so who cares right? But no amount of preparation could have prepared her for the sight she walked in on.

"Oh my god!" She whispered, taking in the scene. She saw Chuck with a knife against his wrist. Hand covered in blood. He was smiling and hadn't even noticed her come in. Blair stormed over to him and tried to snap him out of his daze.

"Bass. Wake up! Chuck, I'm serious, snap out of it"

"What's there to say Blair? I'm quite busy. Can you come back later?"

"No Chuck! Give me that knife now!" She shouted getting angry. Her words seemed to snap him out of his trance and he looked up at her. All she could see was hurt in his eyes. She sighed and slid down next to him.

"What are you doing Chuck?" She whispered, staring at him.

"I don't know Blair. It feels right"

"Don't do this Chuck. Not to you and not to me. Why are you doing it? Why hurt yourself?"

"You want to know why Blair? Because I'm sick of who I am. I'm sick of being the person who hurts everyone else. The amount of times I've hurt you, I can't even count. I tried to be a better man but it's just not meant to be. I'm a screwup. I'm a failure. When I hold this knife, I feel in control. I feel like this is what I'm meant to be doing. For the first time in forever, I'm doing something right"

"No Chuck. You're not. You're not a screwup. You're not a failure. And this is not right. You're hurting yourself. How is that right? I can't bear it. I think about you everyday Chuck. I care about you so much. I can't stand that you're hurting yourself"

She had tears streaming down her face at this point.

"I-I don't belong Blair" he mumbled.

"Please Chuck! Don't do this! I need you"

"You're better off without me. I'm a depressed person. I don't belong anywhere. No one loves me. I'm in able of being loved. I screw my life up. Even my own father hated me" Chuck cried, sobbing now.

"Hey hey, I love you ok? You're father loved you in his own way. Don't do this because you're hurting me. I need you to get better and be ok. Promise?"

"I can't keep promises Blair"

"You have to try! I can't lose anyone else in my life Chuck!"

"I-I-I love you too Blair, but you deserve someone better"

"No, I deserve you" she said stroking his cheek. She pulled him toward her and kissed his lips softly. He leant against her and she caressed his back.

"I love you Chuck. Remember that"

There was no reply. Chuck Bass was asleep. Blair smiled, kissed his forehead and closed her eyes as well. Not many would believe that Blair was the strong one, but right here, right now, Blair had someone else to take care of. And that was ok because she loved him. And he loved her so there was nothing they couldn't do. Together.


End file.
